Sunday, 9 December 2012

Advise Needed On The "How To's"

So .......... Here's the deal,

On the first of every month, I need to hand in an invoice for our company so that we can get paid.  He has asked me to add the entries to this invoice every time get called to work, so that at the end of every month, all I have to do is hit print.  Straight forward enough, but since there are never any consequences, this continues to be an on going problem.

Last month we switched to a computer program to creat the work orders.  The computer ate one of the work orders.  It just wont let me into it.  So I just kept putting it off, and putting it off, thinking that I had lots of time to get the information again and create a new work order.  No problem. 

Big problem.

We got busy, life got busy, so it took me untill the 5th to even create the invoice, and then when I phoned the person to get the work info, I had to leave a message because they didn't answer their phone.  They still haven't phoned me, and I still haven't finished the invoice because again, when I could have phoned the head office and gotten the missing information, I put it off, and forgot about it.

Now I know that a lot of the HOH's would spank for this, but when hubby came and asked me if I had finished the invoice, I made an excuse about having to wait on this person to phone me, and said that I would call the head office on Monday morning.  He said OK, and left it at that.  Now remember, he's new to this.  So he doens't even think of spanking, it just doesn't occur to him.

So ........... should I say anything??

My gut tells me yes, my bottom yells a resounding NO, and would he think this is pestering him if I bring him this situation and tell him that this is most certainly something that most HOH's would spank for.  I mean I can put in the invoice on Monday, and we will probably get paid on time, so no big problem there, but there is a chance that we might not and this would create HUGE problems if payment was delaid for any reason.

Well he's taking a nap right now, says he feels bloated, so I'll have to wait untill he gets up to see how he's feeling.  I could say nothing, and just put in the invoice tomorrow, and everything will probably be just fine.  But isn't that beig dishonest with both of us?

So, how many of you guys confess things to your HOH's?
How do you bring them to your HOH's?
How do you determin what you can blow off as no big deal, and what to tell them is a big deal that they should be fixing, and how do you say that in a way that still makes it their decision.
I don't want a HOH that treats me like a child, but how do I motivate him to be just a little more strict?

Well thanks in advance for your great advise,
and thanks for stopping by.

Friday, 7 December 2012

I NEVER Thought It Would Happen !!

WOW, it's been a while!!

Now let me see, how many times since I last wrote to you have I been spanked or had a maintenance spanking ........... hmmmm,

Oh...  I know, I know the answer ...... never.

Well, at least not untill last night  ;)

I've tried and tried to bring up the subject of maintenance, but it was never the right time.  He says,

it's too late at night

I'm too tired

it's too early in the day

I'm stiff and score (meaning his back)

Ugggg, I was getting no were fast.

So if you looked into our bedroom, the head of our bed is against the far wall, in the middle, so you can walk around the bed on all three sides.  I needed to get changed, so I quietly made the bed, put the foot stool on it, and put a blanket over the foot stool.  On top of the blanket, I put the paddle.  Now I know what your probably thinking,  WHY??  Are you NUTS?? 

You don't even get maintenance and for some reason, you've suddenly lost your mind.  Well, not really.  You see, if I don't get maintenance, he doesn't get used to ever spanking for anything.  If he doesn't get used to it, he wont ever inforce any rules, if he doesn't enforce any rules, WHAT'S THE POINT???

He came into the room just as I was putting on my coat, saw this (how could he miss it) smiled and went down stairs.  When I came down stairs to get my keys, I asked him what he thought about it, and he said that he was a little put off that the last time he set the bed up for maintenance, I snapped at him, told him it wasn't going to happen, and he got angry and shut down. 

Sometimes I wonder if he really hears how he says things to me.  At the time, he chuckled nervously, motioned toward the door, and asked me if I wanted to go "you know". 

I thought "you know"??  He isn't serious, this can't be what he thinks this is all about.  I thought this was his way of saying he wanted sex, so why don't we play your little game first.  Apperently I totally miss read him. 

He still kind of motioned toward the door, and said "well ....... shall we?"  Not exactly what you expect from an HOH, but I'll take it for now, as long as I know he's serious about it.  I'd like him to be a little more manly and definate about it. 

TELL me, don't ASK me.

If it's a choice, what do you think I'll choose every time.  So now it will be twice a week.  I'll set up the bed, he finally told me he prefers it that way.  No exceptions, no excuses.  Unless one of us is sick.

It went well too, by the way.  I'm sure he'll get better at it, and then I'll probably regreat it.  Well, not really, at least I'll have a real HOH in the end.

Well, thanks for stopping by, see you next time.

Saturday, 4 August 2012

Still waiting for something ..... Anything!!

Yup, still waiting!

I try not to test him, but I can't help it!

But I've stopped that, because I love him!!

Well almost stopped testing, hehehe.    :)

I would love to thank all of my LDD friends for their support, and their encouragement to keep on and not test him, but to find quiet times to talk and encourage him.

I think "nice guys" who have had it really rough in the past (not our past, but with his ex) are less likely to establish rules and raise expectations because they don't have Broom Helga any more, so they think they've got it pretty good.  And the male mind probably thinks, if it isn't causing me pain, why fix it.


If he thinks he's got it good now, I must try to get him to see how good he could have it.  Well he's lying down now in a nice cool room

him -            " Thank you Dear"
Me  -            "Your welcome Darling"

He's the best, really he is, today he came and kissed me on my neck while I was typing on chat, and said:

" You know if you went to the market and brought home some hot dogs and buns, I'm sure I could eat them with you"

so when I brought them home, (and picked him up some chocolate milk, grapes, and his favourite relish) he made lunch for both of us.  We had hot dogs and corn on the cob.  How can you not love a man that sees your talking to a friend, makes lunch for you and brings it too you.

Yup ladies, he's taken and he's all mine................YIPPEE!!

Now if any of you know a way to get him to set some rules so we could start this thing we do, then it would all be a little better.  Anyway.......

Thanks for Stopping By!!  And have a GREAT weekend :)

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Disjointed, Will life ever start?

Well hubby is sleeping peacefully. Lucy at is back, and Jaxon at the foot of the bed. They are both Cocker Spaniels, but Lucy is 1/2 the size of Jaxon and a year older. Lucy looks just like the Coppertone dog that was on their bottle for years.

Anyway, I've had a weird couple of days, and my thoughts are quite disjointed. My mother has been busy though, and I discovered that I must be very careful as to what I say to Hubby about it. You see, my mother is a very unique person. She could make most bullies cry. She's a game player, and a planner. I'm not a game player. I never have been. I just can't keep up. I can't out think them, and that part of it scares me. I just can't wait people out and plan what I will do to them, then carry it out. I think that's mean. My brother can do it, I know LOTS of people that can do it, in fact that's the kind of personality that I've always been drawn to. I've always had a friend that's been just like my mother. Not quite sure why. Only one has survived though all of these years, and that's probably because I never see her. People like my mother just frustrate me. I just want to scream at them,

"Why can't you just STOP!!!".................... but I know they wouldn't, and in fact they usually look at you and say,

"I don't understand what you're talking about"..............but they do and it only leaves you wondering about your own sanity, so it's pointless.

Don't they understand what they do to us?? Well Hubby has a lot of qualities that my mother does, only he isn't destructive. It just means that he can figure her out. He never plays games with me, he loves working with me, and hates it when we are apart. In fact, he LOVES to make me happy and tries very hard to give me anything I want. Except Dd. I think he's having trouble getting into the whole concept. I'd literally have to do something HUGE to get into trouble. And I don't really know what he thinks is disrespect. Some things I say he just takes the wrong way, because he doesn't really listen to what I said, or doesn't understand what I mean. Or he doesn't give me the credit I deserve in understanding a situation and reacting properly.


First the History: My youngest daughter (we'll call her K)

1) Grandmother spent years spoiling K to the point that she always must be the centre of attention, doesn't understand that you will have an opinion about her behaviour and that you are entitled to it, and is just taking baby steps at 18 to learn how to take responsibility for her own actions.

2) Grandmother has always tried to take my place as her mother, and won’t stop trying to BE K's mother. She discusses inappropriate topics with her that defiantly fall under the category of 'parental territory', won’t stop having 'teaching moments' with K where she lectures as if she were K's mother even though I've asked her to please stop, and has taught K the game of making the adults around her out bid each other for her affection and attention. Hubby and I opted out of that game right from the start.

3) Has taught K to observe NO personal boundaries with other people. Just do what you want, whatever pops into your pretty little head, say what you want, and don't stop when people ask you to unless you want to.

This particular incident took place on the way to my aunts funeral. Grandma had told K the day before that there was going to be a funeral about 2hrs. out of town, and that they were going in the van. K asked Grandma for a ride. K phoned me and told me, and since Hubby couldn't go, I asked my mother to pick me up as well. This made for a full van because I knew that Grandma and Grandpa were already taking Sweetpea (my 23yr old daughter) and her little boy (Sweetpea's hubby was working) and my brother. I also told Grandma that I would ask Hubby to take me to K's house early to make sure she was suitably dressed. Grandma said "Oh no, don't do that, if K isn't dressed properly, we'll just leave her behind. She's 18 now and if she doesn't know how to dress, then that's too bad, I guess she'll learn. We'll pick her up first, and if she needs to change, I'll make sure she does or she just won’t go, then we'll come and pick up you."

I thought this was mean and also was my job. At the time, I was on painkillers though, and had a broken arm that had just been set with a plate and 9 screws, so I didn't argue with her. I looked at Hubby and said, "Tomorrow I'll need you to drop me off early at K's house so that I can make sure she's suitably dressed". Hubby said "ok".

Off I went early to K's the next day. She wasn't dressed properly. She made a good attempt, so I gently asked her to show me some of her other clothes, and I helped her dress nicely. Then we had some tea, and I phoned Grandma and told her that I was here with K and she could pick us up together. I got the usual "oh, ok" that means you didn't do things my way but I'll be nice about it.

When they picked us up, I had to sit in the front, because I couldn't move around very well, Sweetpea and son were in the middle, and K got into the back with Grandma (Grandpa was driving). We then went to pick up my brother and he sat in the back with Grandma and K. That's when it started. You see my brother is too much like my mother. Both Grandma and my brother started in on K. They teased her almost to tears about her lip piercings, about why she was getting mad, teased her about her attitude, clothing, it was bad, really REALLY bad. It was worse than the youtube video of the older lady being teased on a school bus by a group of 12 to 13 year olds. I couldn't help her and neither could Sweetpea because they couldn't hear us, but as we listened, K defiantly held her own with Grandma and my brother. It was bad though, and now she was upset. I think Grandma wanted her to be upset so that she would act out, and Grandma could be the 'parent' once again. Instead K stuck like glue to me, and I was able to calm her down. We actually had a nice time. K bothered a few people, but things were relatively ok.

I discussed things with K a few days later, and she said that she was done with Grandma. I found out later that my brother had at least apologised to her after the funeral but not Grandma. Grandma was still behaving like nothing had happened. I spoke to my mother and told her gently that she really did owe K an apology for teasing her the way she did. My mother said that she would take care of it, but kind of brushed it off as no big deal. I told K this but she said that she was sooooo mad, and it was just too late. She was done.  She didn't want to talk to Grandma ever again. So I told her that it was her decision, and that she needed to tell her Grandmother herself, but that she also needed to mind her language, and not be disrespectful. That you can make a decision, but you doen't need to be rude about it, or you would be just as bad as that person you are mad at. She said that she'd try.

She phoned up Grandma, said what she needed to, and hung up. That happened in mid April, so she hasn't talked to Grandma since them.

So........... K phoned me up Monday and said gleefully on the phone that Grandma had phoned her, apologised to her "like 25 times", and took her out for dinner. That's all it took for Ken to go on a tirade. He started yelling at me, so I asked him to please stop. Believe me, I asked him nicely, and reminded him that I hadn't done anything wrong. That just because K is back in her life, doesn't mean that I am, and that I will make sure I am very careful about the information that K hears from me about our life and what we are doing. Then he stomped off and cooled off.

Yesterday I picked up K and took her to pick up her pets at her friend’s house. K told me that during the dinner she had with Grandma, she (my mother) said that she no longer had a problem with her lip piercings, and that she understood that K smoked pot and that that was ok with her. She just wanted her granddaughter back in her life.

So now suddenly it’s was all good with her?? Smoking pot has NEVER been ok with my mother. (this means Hubbby and I are the ONLY ones telling her she needs to quite smoking it ) EVER. And suddenly her lip piercings don't bother her, hmmmmmmm, I smell a rat. Someone is lying here. I asked her what else Grandma had said. She told me that according to Grandma, I freaked out on her the last time we talked, and then hung up on her. This didn't happen. My mother was soo sure that I would have a problem with what she did concerning my son, that by the time I called her, she started yelling at me. I had to raise my voice to be heard over her, told her that she was obviously having a full blown tantrum, so I was hanging up now, and hung up. And I did. So since then my parents won’t talk to me.


She has successfully removed me from her life so that she can now do as she pleases with my children, while telling people it's all my fault. Now she won’t have anyone holding her accountable for her actions, even a little, and I guess she figures (just speculating here) that she can also make me compete for K's attention. I have two words for ya. WON'T WORK!!!! I don't get into other peoples stuff, especially if I suspect that they are playing games with each other. And I think that is what is happening here. And I have a great relationship with my Sweetpea, so she can't go there. I may not be able to play games well, but I have become a master at staying out of them. Knowing the power of walking away, and saying.........,

"If you want to play a game, I'm out. I'll talk to you later when you're ready"

So my relationship with K will go back to being a little more guarded. K will get burned by Grandma again, so she will be back with more wounds, but I won’t compete. I'll bandage her up, put her back on her feet, and try to help her start to grow up again. So stay tuned, because I can see a duzy coming.

Thanks for stopping by!!

Where do these People come from?

I wrote this on LDD.  Some times I just wonder about the people in our lives, and how, if we come from them, we see the world soo differently.  These people just make me tired.  They're behavior hurts my heart and my brain.  And I'm tired of paying the price for their behavior too.

Some of you have read little snippets about my mother being the chief reason as to why I got interested in Dd. Yesterday came the best illistration that could have happened.

It all started years ago when I didn't listen to my dear hubby about what I should do with an interferring parent, set on the distruction of my marriage and undermining all authority in our house through our children, so that She was seen by my children as the parental authority. Well it almost worked. I thank my God above that it didn't! My youngest at 14 did go on a huge 'mommy search' that lasted untill she was 18. She's 18 right now. She even tried living at my mothers house for a while when she was 15, but she left on bad terms. I don't know why my mother wants my children, or thinks so little of me, but let me tell you, she is what I call a 'boundry buster', she has absolutly NO respect for other people's boundries, to the point that she would lie to me and then tell the child, over ice cream after she just took them to do what I had told her NOT to let them do, that they can't tell me, it would be their little secret. She always said to them "I know sometimes you can't tell your mother something, but you can always tell me anything, she doesn't have to know". I could go on and on, but I won't.

So reciently, (middle of May) she decided to take my son in. He's a 22yr old drug user (who always claim's he's reciently clean) that sufferes from periods of phycosis. This means that he hears voices in his head. Thoes voices sound identical to whom ever he has been living with for about 3 weeks or longer. So she phoned me but I was out. When my husband got back from work he told me that she had called on his cell (she had really called my cell which was forwarded to his for work purposes) and asked

1) is Joey there, ("no" says hubby), well do you know where she is ("she's busy but will be home later" says hubby) and

2) have you seen Jareth or talked to him latley. ("no we have a restraining order between us, why?" says hubby now starting to panic a little)
When she told him that my uncle had agreed to take in Jareth (which wasn't the whole truth), hubby replied "well then **** is an idot. (not what I would have said or approved of him saying that about my uncle) She just about scared my husband to death.

Now she KNEW that there has recently been a restraining order put in place by the courts because he broke into our home, and was standing in the dark kitchen (hadn't turned on the lights) playing with a 12" long professional carving knife (razor sharp, you chould probably shave with it) in his hand while he eat a sandwich that he had used the knife to make, even though there were about 10 far more apropriate knifes he could have used. I got really angry with him, when he started ordering me to get him his resume "right now" I said "no and you can leave right now!!"  So as he passed me he spat in my face.

We called the police, filled out a complaint, and they arrested him and charged him with assult and break and enter. (he plead guilty for the assult but not for the b&e and got 14 days in jail with a 1yr probation and a whole bunch of conditions, because of his mental issues they didn't want to put him in longer)

We also had informed the officer that he had let himself in on 3 other occations, when the front door had been left unlocked, (usually by one of our other adult children that was living with us), he would sneek up the stairs and just about give you a heart attack standing at the top of the stairs, not making a sound, waiting for you to turn around. (Just before this happened they had all moved out) So when we got home, hubby had walked into the house, turned on the office light, gone to walk into the kitchen and saw him just standing there playing with this knife in his hand, eating the sandwich, not making a sound.
When the officer saw the knife her eyes just about popped out of her head! Even she said that this was dangerous and suspicious behavior.
He was angry at me for not letting him move back in with us instead of going back to rehab. My mother knew all of this stuff, and I had told her on at least 4 different occations about the restraining order. So she knew better than to phone like that.
She had also decided in her mind that I would be angry with my uncle for letting him move in with him. She has decided how I will react a lot for most of my life, and is wrong 99% of the time.

When I phoned her back she just launched into this tiraid, and started yelling at me "you guys are not going to put me in the middle of this (I had to figure out what that meant later), I told uncle * to call you and talk to you about J***th but he wont, so you need to call him". I had repeatedly made the mistake of saying "well you called (hubby's) cell so I'm just returning your call and" she really got mad then, told me that she didn't phone hubby's cell, she had called mine and he answered so "DON'T TELL ME WHAT I DID AND DIDN'T DO OR WHOSE CELL I CALLED!!" (said in a controlled cold and snippy yell, key phrase and warning sign)
There were a lot of other things she said like "J***th is planning on joining the millitary reserves, and uncle * was going to help him get in" I told her calmly that that wouldn't happen because they wont except people with mental health issues, she said "well that's not very positive". (ummm, Ok, reality check please?) So I said "he hears voices" and she said "well I don't know that" (another key phrase and warning sign).

So I (while talking over her) I said " well clearly you're in a full blown tantrum so I'm going to hang up now" I had caught myself getting angry, so I deliboratly calmed myself, and said this to her in a very calm voice, but talking over her. I heard her say to me "well I think that's a good idea" and that was as far as she got when I pushed the button, so she got cut off in mid scentence. Now when I tell you that I'm hanging up now, I do. That is, I hang up the phone, I don't sit and listen to you finish saying all of the belittling things that you want to say because at this point I can tell that this is just a power struggle, and instead of getting angry, I decided a few years back that I don't 'do' power stuggles. Period.

You see at her shop one day, I over heard her saying to an employee that "you can have a knock down, drag'm out fight with Joey, but not with J(my brother) because J will just walk away and you won't see him for a while, so that's no fun, but Joey wont." I suddenly understood why I always thought things are My fault and why I felt so manipulated and controlled by her. You see, I don't play games well. I just don't. I can't see the axe falling untill it's too late, and I think "how did that just happen", or "how did she make this MY fault, I should have said ____ to her". So now, if I feel like I'm being toyed with, or I hear a few key phrases I end the conversation fast.

Fast froward a couple of days, my dad calls and asks me a ton of questions about J**th. I answered them but now my *radar* is going off. He told me that J**th wanted his stuff and kept saying that I should drop them by to his house. So I said to hubby "I'll bet he's there". I just kept saying that I'd drop them of to uncle's shop. My Dad had also said that my mother was angry that I hung up on her and she wasn't going to talk to me untill I appologised to her. *For What??* Apperently I was disrespectfull and one of the ten commandments says 'Honor your Father and Mother'. I told him that I had honored her by telling her I was hanging up now and doing so before I said anything I shouldn't. He told me that I needed to work it out with her.

I phoned my uncle, made sure that J**th wasn't there, brought J**th's stuff to my uncles store and talked to my uncle outside the store. During that conversation he told me that J**th has been staying at my parents house. Now I knew that I was being played.

Then my Dad phoned me and got mad at me for not bringing over my mothers birthday (end of May) present, (still not telling me that J**th was at the house). I told him that I had phoned her, got no answer, and left a message that I would call later but that I had to go to work with hubby on a really long call (we have an on call job) and I didn't get back untill 9pm, and thought it was too late. He said that that was no excuse and I should have dropped the gift off like my brother did in the evening.
(can you hear the sound of a needle being dragged off of the plastic music album like I can?)
After I got off of the phone I thought, Wait one minute here, they know I can't go over there, and they know why!! (never mind I'm under direct orders from hubby not to break that order, which I whole hartedly agree with, but under orders none the less) They are tring to get me to break a court ordered restraining order, thus teaching my son, who already has authority issues (he doesn't understand why he has to obey the authorities), has boundry issues (he doesn't understand the difference between your stuff and his stuff, especially if he wants to sell your stuff for drugs), and a whole lot of other issues, that he doesn't have to listen to the order.  If THEY say so, I can come over. Besides they assumed that I didn't know he was over there and had no intention of telling me, thus lying by omition.

A week before father's day my daughter C had told me that J**th was now gone. So I brought over my mothers birthday present and late mother's day present. She was COLD!! I handed her the gift and said "I can bring this over now because I know that J**th isn't here anymore" she said "Oh, you do.", puts it on a shelf unopened, and goes back to the couch. I know how this is going to go. She suddenly gets up and says "I'll tell your father your here." (he had his knee replaced about a month prior and was lying down) On her way back to the couch I said "I would have dropped them off but I knew he was here and you know there is a res. order between us" to which she said " Oh, I see.", so I said that I was going to go and just left. My dad hadn't even gotten out of his room yet.

So father's day rolls around, had a good conversation with Dad on the phone, but I could hear that people were over, so it was short. No problem. I told him I'd drop off his gift later. So I phoned him yesterday, (we've had a really busy 2 weeks with our pond and it's really hard to want to go over there when Mom is busy showing me that she's mad) but no one was home. He phoned me back at about 9:30pm to my surprise. He said that he was returning my call, and I told him that I was calling to let him know I'd be bringing his father's day gift over the next morning. He tried to scold me for not working this out with my mother, so I said "work what out, there's nothing to work out", he said "you've been disrespectfull to your mother" at which point I said "No I didn't" and he said "well she's my wife and your mother, so you can't phone here untill you two work it out" So I said "that's fine, then I won't call you anymore" Done!!

So that's his reasoning for defending really bad behavior from my mother. She's his wife. That's it. Your kidding me right? This is who I don't want to turn into. Guess who runs this house. He apperently has no opinion but hers, and logic and truth don't apply.


So that's it, and I haven't talked to them since.  I gave Hubby the movie card I had bought for my Dad because I don't believe he's behaving like a dad.  He want's me to disreguard the fact that my mother is lying to me and about me to other people, and wants me to appologise to her for something she is lying about me doing?  Does this even make sence??  Not to me.

Anyway .........

Thanks for Stopping By.

Friday, 20 July 2012

The Councillors New Toy

The Party's Over!
First, a little background:

I've been telling people we actually looked into Dd about 2 years ago, but after thinking about it, it was before my eldest daughter moved in, so that's wrong. It was about 4 years ago, in the spring of 2009. But Hubby decided that we'd have to stop because of privacy issues, and I understood, although I didn't really like it.

Fast forward to the start of 2012 and we find ourselves with my daughter's happy little family downstairs, she now has a beautiful little baby boy about 2 1/2 yrs. old, who is opening doors, pulling the contense out of drawers and having a blast giving it all to you one piece at a time. He LOVES to announce "Abuelita, Abuelita..........aqui, aqui" (he only speaks Spanish) at the top of his voice as he hands you something that was in your drawer. Hubby used to keep the implements in his night table drawer, can you imagine?? I didn't want to!! Add to that that we were going on a cruise in April and had asked his mother to stay in our home to watch our dogs for us, and Hubby's old implements had to go, besides what did we need them for anymore?  How was I to know that my Sweetpea and her little family would end up moving out on their own right before we left? The last thing I wanted was to have to explain all of this to our adult children and his mother. Hubby's mother is by the way, about the best mother-in-law you could ever dream of having. So I tossed them all, or so I thought. One little black strap, his favorite, managed to stay behind.

After reading Pooky’s blog, I finally got the nerve to write Hubby the letter.  It’s very hard to say some of this stuff to your hubby’s face, so I wrote him a letter and asked him to re establish our Dd life.  He said yes.

And then nothing happened. 

So I started reading, and looking up stuff, and found the LDD site (thank you Pooky and Stormy).  I felt really brave one day and checked out the LDD site.  I soon became a member and started reading all I could.  Then I got brave enough to ask him to restart maintenance. 

That first spanking was a disaster.  It felt like he was just playing around, and in the process left me quite bruised by using the wrong kind of paddle (it was for tossing a salad) that was too short, and too thick, and started hurting his wrist.  Hubby has bad hands so he can’t use them, and a lot of implements hurt him.  He broke one hand in a car accident 16 yrs ago, and the other one about a year later.  So his hands get very stiff and sore.  After searching on the internet, I found something called A Brief History of Paddles and Paddling – Chicago Spanking Review.  I printed it out, and while we were on a business trip with a lot of driving, I read it to him.  He liked what it had to say, so I went to Home Depot and bought him all of the supplies he’d need to make himself a paddle. 

1 - 2ft X 2ft - ¼ inch thick piece of ply wood, good one side,
Wood stain, sand paper, paint brushes, and varnish or some sort.

So there all of this sat for over a month, until it got moved around, and moved downstairs and then dangerously close to the garage with all of his tools. 

I went on wondering if anything would ever come of Dd. I’d try to talk to him every now and then, but he’s the one word type, and it felt more like doing verbal surgery to get him to talk about it.  Well, just this past week, on about Tuesday night, he started asking me all about the LDD site, and exactly what I was reading about.  I thought ....... cool he’s actually taking an interest.  Then on Wednesday night, he told me that he had been making a paddle for about the last 3 to 5 days.  All those nights he just couldn’t sleep.  And I thought he was just playing Diablo III.  Then he announced that Thursday would be the day it was ready, and he might try it out.

Might??  What was that supposed to mean?  Thinking of trying it out??  Are you kidding me, this isn’t a game........... now I can’t sleep, and I’m wondering just how serious this man is.

So yesterday it happened.  Although he didn’t exactly announce to me that I was going to be spanked now, it came out more like........

“Well we could walk the dogs now or.....”
“Or what”
“Or....... you know”.......... head motioning to the other room.
“Well then you’ll have to put the dogs out of the room, and I’ll be there in a minute”
I had to use the bathroom.

So he used his paddle.  Started with a warm up, but something was just wrong.  I was bent over the bed, and he sat beside me so we were facing opposite ways.  This got uncomfortable fast.  So I suggested we put a rather large rectangular foot stool onto our bed (a large wooden box that hubby made so that I could climb onto our bed at night.... that’s another story), with a blanket over it, and I would lay over that.  For him, it worked perfectly.  I was finally at just the right height so his back didn’t hurt, and the paddle was just the right weight so his hand didn’t hurt.  The spanking was short, didn’t leave bruises, but was effective for maintenance.  Today he’s standing a little taller and feeling a little more in charge.  Boy did it ever change the feeling of the spanking it’s self.  My body was finally in the right position for the right purpose.

It’s truly amazing what a little respect, and the ability to assert himself will do for a good man.  He’s been stepped on most of his life because he’s Mr. Nice Guy, and has been taken terrible advantage of by his ex who enjoyed making his life hell, and still tries to even though their children are all grown.  So now he only has to decide on a few rules but that will come in time.  Anyway, I sure hope he enjoys men’s night in chat, that will be new for him too.  And we’ll soon see where this journey takes us.

Have a great day!
And thanks for stopping by.